Throughout “otaku” culture, there lies a recurring concept which has been debated more than the theory of evolution. A topic so virulent and divisive that future wars may be waged over the differing ideologies. A situation of such magnitude that Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin have offered their own opinions.
The topic? 2D versus 3D. And I’m here to tell you why 2D is the winning team.
So, I’m going to compare the good and the bad of 2D and 3D.
2D – The Good
Waifus/Husbandos – When a person has a particularly strong attraction to a character, so strong that they are on a clear pedestal above others, they achieve the status of a waifu (if they’re a female or Kaiki) or husbando (if male).
Now, if you refer to a 3D girl as a waifu, people will just call you a normalfag. So if you want a waifu or husbando, 2D is your only option.
Ponytails – Let’s put this straight. Ponytails look good in both 2D and 3D, but they look monumentally better in 2D. Need proof?
You will never see a 3D ponytail that looks this good. Ever.
Physical figure – If you like your women well-endowed with a nice pair of sweater puppies and a bodacious badonkadonk, look no farther than the season’s multiple ecchi anime. If you like your men with abs of steel, bulging muscles, and overflowing testosterone, just watch JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. If you have a foot fetish, watch Garden of Words. And of course, there are traps. If you’re into that kind of thing.
Character Goods – When you put a poster of a real girl on your wall, people think you’re a stalker. When you put a poster of a pretty young anime girl on your wall, people stay out of your room. Your choice.
3D – The Bad
3DPD – This stands for “3D Pig Disgusting” and is commonly used in reference to 3D people. Eww.
General appearance – 3D people are ugly, or at most okay. 2D characters look way better. If Crimea’s attorney general didn’t become such a pretty young anime girl, Putin wouldn’t have given the issue a second look. But he did, didn’t he?
Dakimakura – If you hug a body pillow with a pretty young anime girl or guy, you’re doing it right. If you’re hugging a body pillow with the likeness of a 3D person, do you know what that means? You are hugging them in 2D form, and thereby admitting that 2D is superior.
Selection – In the 3D world, you can’t always pick your true love. In the 2D world, you can. And besides, there’s a severe lack of Akemi Homura, Senjougahara Hitagi, Aigis, Misaka Mikoto, Shirai Kuroko, Marie, Ene, Hisoka, Esty Erhard, Tainaka Ritsu, Kotobuki Tsumugi, Chitanda Eru, Rorolina Frixell, Kaiki Deishuu, Araragi Karen, Takeba Yukari, Toshinou Kyouko, Inaba Himeko, Akiyama Mio, Saya, Kirijou Mitsuru, and Alpaca Man in the 3D world.
Obama supports 2D. Do you?
The featured image is half Esty from Atelier Meruru, half Lara Clores (or whoever).